


Only Love Can Heal

by InsomniacCoffee



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Aphenphosmphobia, Cavendish is the one giving comfort for once, Childhood abuse and trauma are mentioned very briefly, Childhood sexual abuse may be there, Domestic Fluff, Fluff laced with angst, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Third Person, if you see it that way or not it's up to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-04 13:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18605179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacCoffee/pseuds/InsomniacCoffee
Summary: Request. Dakota isn’t as physically affectionate when they first began their relationship. Cavendish asks why.





	Only Love Can Heal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biscuit momdad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=biscuit+momdad).



> This was a request for domestic fluff from the Milo Murphy's Law Amino-So uh, I tried-(I'm sorry Biscuit-;-;)  
> Keep in mind I do ship DaKavendish but not enough to write fanfics unless requested so consider this more of a test fic-I apologize if their relationship seems out of character though but I hope that if there are future requests I can improve on it! (I swear it never feels like I'm writing Cavendish right-)
> 
> But I also wanna clarify that people can have romantic relationships without physical affection so please don't think that this fic completely erases those type of relationships-this is more of a situation that wouldn't have gone as long as it did if both had decided to talk about it rather than ignore it. And that also this is something a bit unhealthy due to Dakota being Dakota and not talking to anyone about his feelings-getDakotaatherapist2k19
> 
> And lastly, I did base the title off Love Can Only Heal by Myles Kennedy-I feel like the song does fit it tremendously with the fic-not as heavy as his other songs but I do recommend it for a song about loss and learning to move on.

_Never mind the pain_  
_Cause love can only heal_  
_If only you could trade the dark for light_  
_It might reveal_  
_That there's a place inside_  
_Don't be afraid to feel_  
_Cause love can only heal_

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Dakota wasn’t the most physically affectionate one in the relationship. For a man that was so outgoing, enthusiastic and overall such a people-pleaser, one might think physical affection towards a loved one would be second nature to him. He carried all the characteristics of a loving boyfriend and more so naturally, one would assume physical affection would be apart of the list.

Cavendish learned far too quickly in their new relationship as romantic partners that it wasn’t the case. Dakota would probably drag him to when Shakespeare was alive and make him create poetry solely for him in a heartbeat, but he wouldn’t even put an arm around Cavendish when they watched a movie. Most of the time, It had to be Cavendish to try and make a move only for Dakota to tense up and shift away slightly. Dakota never said a word or even so much as expressed discomfort; he quietly moved away or excused himself to get more snacks or something. He’d never say a word about it afterward and Cavendish didn’t either so they were left in a weird purgatory of being too polite to ask what’s going on.

He had to wonder if something was wrong with himself. No, this wasn’t the first time anyway Dakota acted such a way. Even before they were dating, Dakota always kept his space if he could remember right. Dakota would occasionally hug him but that was almost once in a blue moon and usually so brief that it’s forgotten as quickly as it started. It would be very strange for two coworkers to be physically affectionate all of a sudden so there was never a chance for Cavendish to fully see this as a problem until recently.

And as their relationship progressed, he realized that Dakota remained the same. Even when they were past the stage of cuddling in bed, Dakota would make sure to keep his distance from him when they slept. It was obvious that this would go on for as long as it would without a proper conversation and after nearly two months of no change, Cavendish realized that he had to be the one to take the initiative. However, it seemed like life (and Murphy's Law) had other plans it seems. Any quiet moment where he could've brought it up ended up being quickly drowned out by chaos and by the time they reached their apartment, all that they ever did was eat a quick meal and crawl into bed with their clothes still on. That's how their nights generally went and it stayed the same; only that Cavendish would notice Dakota always sleeping apart from him and the lingering feeling of loneliness as he sometimes wondered if they were even dating at all. 

It wasn't like Dakota had never expressed his love to Cavendish. Oh, he more than showed it. He was great at giving gifts and repeating cheesy lines from old rom-com movies that honestly made him laugh. For a man who avoided physical affection, he surely knew how to make up for it. However, he felt that there was something a bit off. He could see it when Dakota was sure Cavendish wasn't looking at him. The way he'd stare off longingly in the distance as if Dakota wanted to do something more in that very moment. It was obvious something was stopping Dakota from going further.

He found some opportunity to talk when they arrived home early from work for once. It was actually near midnight but that was about as early as it could be for them. They were still energized and trying to shake off the adrenaline from that day's events; it meant that they could actually eat actual food rather than the instant noodles or frozen foods they had been living off these days. They decided to order take out rather than eat out for dinner as that was as homemade it gets. While it would be cheaper to simply make food themselves, neither could really tell the difference between a crockpot and a wok so it was better off for their sakes (and their insurance) to buy take out at cheap places even if it wasn’t the healthiest choice out there.

It was Dakota’s turn to choose so he chose some Chinese restaurant as it was one of the few restaurants open so late at that time. Dakota never needed to ask what Cavendish as he already got his order memorized from nearly every place they ate regularly. He wasn't much for trying out new things but Dakota always seemed the more willing one to try things out, food wise. If he was so willing to try new things, he wondered why something like cuddling your own partner seemed so scary to Dakota. Perhaps it was just Cavendish in the end and Dakota was only with him because it was near impossible to be with anyone else due to their job. The thought of it hadn't been the first time it's crossed his mind but he knew that it was better to ask rather than jump to conclusions.

The food came quickly and as there was no dining table, they opted to eat on the couch and watch TV. Dakota was keeping his distance as always. The channel was just playing a rerun of some old show (well, to him) he didn’t particularly care about but it was something to drown out the silence.It would be about thirty minutes before the food would supposedly arrive. Maybe it would give enough time for a proper conversation.  No Murphy's Law or other disaster coming to stop them, the only thing stopping them was Cavendish himself if didn't speak up.

“Vinnie,” Cavendish began. It was enough for Dakota to look up from the screen and at him, complete attention at him. He continued, “...I hope that this isn’t coming off as rude but I’ve noticed you seem to keep a distance a lot from me. Maybe you always have before and I just haven’t been as observant but I just wanted to ask if you were alright?”

Due to his perspective, it was hard to tell the look on Dakota’s eyes due to his glasses shading it. His body language easily showed he seemed slightly stressed at the question with how he began tapping his foot slightly, “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry if it makes it seem like it’s your fault. It’s not, it’s more of a me problem.”

“Oh? Do you want to talk about it?” He offered. He rested his hand on the couch for Dakota to take. He didn't.

He could tell just from how his lips formed that he was ready to say ‘no’ but he paused, “it’s kinda stupid.”

Sometimes, talking to Vinnie felt like opening a door only for it to want to be closed. He could already feel the door closing in on him so he decided to stop it quickly, “It can’t be if it’s preventing you from doing normal things a couple in a relationship can do. Is it that you don’t like physical affection?”

Dakota sighed a little, momentarily rubbing his eyes with his hand, making sure that his glasses were still perfectly aligned when he stopped. He glanced up at him, "It's not that I don't like it, I guess. I'm sorry that I never talked with you about this kinda stuff. I can't say any relationship I've had ever went past this stage." 

"They haven't?"

"Nah, I probably come out like I'm not interested in the relationship and trust me, I genuinely am interested with you. I just...am afraid." If Cavendish hadn't paid attention to the last part, he would've completely lost what Dakota had said but it was clear to him despite how soft the tone was.

"What are you afraid of?" He gently pressed. 

Dakota didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity. He looked down at the ground, fidgeting his hands as if he was debating whether or not talk. Cavendish was growing worried that he may have asked the wrong question and Dakota will simply withdraw again. Thankfully, it seemed like it wouldn't turn out like that as he looked at Cavendish once again, this time being able to see past those glasses. Already, his eyes told a story alone, "I'm afraid of when people touch me and the other way around. It's kinda why my past relationships kinda failed because at some point you gotta hug your partner or whatever. I just...couldn't do it. Not with them, at least." 

"Aphenphosmphobia?" Cavendish quickly realized on the look of his face that he didn't know what it meant so he quickly interjected, "It's the fear of touching or intimacy. It sounds like that might be your phobia." 

"Huh, I didn't think they actually had a name for this type of thing. I always just figured I was crazy." 

"You're not crazy for having that fear. Many people do have it but it's usually caused by something so I'm supposing that something must've happened? You don't have to talk about that part if you don't want to though. I understand if you're not ready." 

Dakota seemed to have already made up his mind, "I think you should know. Y’ see my family never really gave me that type of affection families was supposed to do.”

“So what you’re saying is…”

“Yeah.” Just that one simple word carried so much he hadn’t said from just the tone of his voice, “I guess that kinda stuff sticks with you forever, doesn’t it?”

“Well…"He paused, choosing his next words carefully, "not without some help, that is...Did you ever talk to someone professional about it?”

He shook his head, ”Nah, I never really trust talking to someone about that.”

“But it’s worth a try, isn’t it? Even though you’ll never experience what you did as a child, you still need to realize that yourself. I can refer you to a great therapist who works in that type of trauma. She’s a college friend I know of but I’ve heard nothing but good things about her ever since she entered the field.”

Dakota wanted to say no. It didn't seem like he could bring himself to express it however as he muttered, "If you say so. I'll give it a shot."

Cavendish kept his distance. As much as he wanted to hug him and prove that it wasn't so bad to be touched, he couldn't otherwise he might just scare him away. He was never good with words in the first place but it seemed like that was the only thing he had to rely on now, "I just want you to be happy and safe around me. I know that this is difficult and I can't imagine the amount of pain you must still be feeling but you can always talk to me about anything. We'll just take this one step at a time together and I promise I won't ever push you into anything you're not comfortable with." 

"You really mean that? You're not just sayin' that, right?"

"Why would I lie? I love you and I'm willing to take any step and action to make you feel loved." 

Dakota already looked like he was going to cry. He quickly rubbed his eyes to prevent that, "God, what did I do to deserve you?" 

"I should ask the same." He softly smiled. 

Dakota had pondered for a few moments before deciding to shift himself closer to him until they were at a reasonable space of being close but not too close. He reached for Cavendish's hand this time, probably being the first time he had done so in a very long time. It was obvious this was foreign to him but it was the first step at least, "Thank you, Bal." He smiled at him. 

Cavendish could've said something back but he didn't say anything. If he said anything, it might ruin the quiet moment between them. They would continue sitting on that couch finding a semi-interesting movie to watch with their hands still linked together. Maybe another day Dakota would feel comfortable enough to be even closer to him but that was okay. He could wait.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading and comment if you'd like! I am considering writing a second part where they attend the therapy session but not sure-welp we'll see if i ever post it-
> 
> I also take requests so if you have a request feel free to comment or in the Milo Murphy's Law amino; I also go as [Insomniac Coffee](http://aminoapps.com/p/ssbc8m8) there so feel free to chat with me there! 
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!


End file.
